In a healthy relationship, mutual respect, emotional support, and self-assurance help both partners grow. But when your self-worth depends entirely on someone else, it can lead to codependency—a destructive cycle that often worsens during addiction recovery. Understanding how to recognize and recover from unhealthy relationships is essential for long-term healing.
What Are Codependent Relationships?
Codependent relationships involve an unhealthy emotional and psychological reliance on another person. In many cases, a codependent person puts others’ needs above their own, leading to loss of identity and emotional distress. While it’s natural to lean on family and friends, codependency becomes harmful when it prevents someone from setting boundaries, maintaining self-respect, or living independently.
In early addiction recovery, codependent behaviors can feel comforting but are actually destructive. This reliance can trigger relapse, create emotional instability, and stifle progress in recovery.
Codependency and Addiction: A Dual Threat
There is a strong connection between codependency and addiction. Whether you’re the person in recovery or the loved one supporting them, both roles can feed into harmful control patterns, avoidance patterns, and compliance patterns. These behaviors often stem from low self-esteem patterns, past trauma, or learned dynamics from childhood.
In many cases, individuals struggling with substance use may also face a dual diagnosis—a mental health condition paired with addiction. Codependency is especially common in those with co-occurring disorders, and it often goes unnoticed until the person enters an intensive outpatient program (IOP) or outpatient rehab setting.
Signs of Codependency
Recognizing the symptoms of codependency is the first step toward codependency recovery. Some common signs include:
- Fear of abandonment or rejection
- Putting others’ needs ahead of your own
- Constantly seeking validation and approval
- Struggling with setting and maintaining boundaries
- Staying in toxic or unfulfilling relationships
- Micromanaging or controlling others
- Avoiding conflict at all costs
- Feeling responsible for others’ emotions or behaviors
If these signs sound familiar, you may benefit from individual therapy, family therapy, or structured programs like an intensive outpatient or outpatient program.
Dependent Personality Disorder and Trauma Bonding
In more severe cases, codependency may point to Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD)—a clinical condition marked by excessive reliance on others for emotional or physical needs. People with DPD often struggle with decision-making, fear being alone, and tolerate mistreatment to avoid abandonment.
Trauma bonding also plays a significant role in codependent dynamics. This happens when emotional attachment is formed through cycles of abuse and reconciliation. These bonds can be extremely difficult to break, even when the relationship has clear negative consequences, such as alcohol abuse or emotional manipulation.
Codependency in Early Recovery
In sober living environments and during the early stages of MAT treatment (medication-assisted treatment), individuals often seek external validation. While this is understandable, it can quickly spiral into codependent behaviors if left unaddressed. Learning to maintain healthy boundaries, practice self-care, and rebuild identity is essential.
Family and friends may also struggle with codependency, especially when trying to “fix” a loved one. This dynamic can lead to emotional burnout and resentment, further damaging the relationship.
How to Deal with Codependency
Recovery from codependency starts with self-awareness and a willingness to change. Here are some ways to begin the healing process:
- Attend individual therapy to uncover denial patterns and emotional triggers
- Join support groups like Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA)
- Participate in family therapy sessions to improve communication
- Enroll in an intensive outpatient program IOP that addresses codependency
- Learn to develop healthy habits that nurture your self-esteem and independence
- Read recovery stories to feel connected and less alone
- Practice taking care of your physical and mental health daily
Building Relationships With People Who Support Your Growth
Recovery is not just about quitting substances; it’s about building healthier habits and connections. Forming relationships with people who uplift and support your journey is key to sustained healing. Whether you’re in an outpatient program, IOP, or sober living residence, surround yourself with those who encourage you to set boundaries and respect your individuality.
Avoid individuals who fuel codependent behaviors or dismiss your needs. Instead, build a support system that fosters accountability, compassion, and personal growth.
Codependency is also commonly associated with loved ones of people in recovery or active addiction. If your loved one is struggling with addiction, you may want to “fix them.” It can become your sole mission to do everything possible to get them to stop drinking or taking drugs. While it’s normal to want to help people you love, it can reach an unhealthy level where both of you are suffering.
Reach Out for Help with Relationships in Recovery
If you or a loved one is struggling with codependency and addiction, professional treatment can help. At Royal Life Centers, our team offers tailored care through intensive outpatient, individual therapy, and family therapy to help you reclaim your identity and independence.
Call us at 877-RECOVERY to start your path toward healing. Recovery is possible, and you don’t have to go through it alone.
